4 Tips for Moving Forward
Forgive, Forget and move on. This is the advice that is handed out most often whenever someone mentions that they have been through a difficult situation. I have never liked this advice and here’s why. This saying makes you feel like moving on should be a simple process and that if you can’t forget what happened to you, you will always be trapped at your “rock bottom”. This just isn’t the case. Here are some more realistic steps that you can take as a first step when working on healing.
- Make Peace
Understand fulling whatever it is you have been through. Give yourself time to mourn whatever it may be. Allow yourself to face the struggle. Keeping it hidden only means the issue will continue to inferer with your life.
- Forgive Yourself First
No matter what the circumstance, as humans, we often will hold onto the feeling that if we had only done something different we would never have had to suffer. It can sometimes be even harder to forgive yourself than to forgive someone else because we often hold very unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
- Make plans for the future
Humans are more resilient than we are given credit for! We may be bruised and we may have been bent in ways that were extremely uncomfortable and unwanted, but you are still here. You are worth investing in.
“You Are Not Broken”
You are strong and capable and even with all that has happened, you still have your whole life ahead of you, inshAllah. Plan out your dreams and do things that put a smile on your face. Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Give yourself the gift of investing in a strong self identity.
- Reach Out
This can feel like an intimidating step. Talking to people about your problems isn’t something that we are taught is okay to do. However reaching out to others and getting validation of your struggles is one of the most beneficial things that you can do. This includes making an honest dua about your circumstance, or calling a friend and asking them to listen to you. Calling our Helpline is also a way to reach out and talk about your circumstance with individuals that will not judge the circumstances but will help guide you as you work through your own healing process. This process will look different for everyone.
Check out this “Healing from Trauma, Part I: Why Can’t I Just Forget About It?” by Susanne M. Dillmann, PsyD on Good Therapy. This article gives some good insight on key elements of coping with a Traumatic Experience.
It is challenging to share our stories but it is important for us all to know that we are not alone. Please keep in mind that the approach shared below may not apply to your situation or work for you and that’s okay!
Thanks Hafsa for sharing your experience with Cyberbullying. If anyone would like to share your stories (either sharing your name or anonymously) message us! Let’s give each other hope and show each other we are not alone!
“When I was 17 years old, I had gotten cyberbullied by a group of female classmates. I ended up feeling sorry for myself and viewing myself as a victim. That all changed when I got bullied in college by a few classmates. After confiding with my parents, they advised me to stand up for myself, so I decided to do so.
During class while everyone was working on their worksheets, I decided that was the right time to stand up to the bullies. I felt nervous about doing so. I took deep breaths, prayed, and gave myself positive self talk. I then walked up to the bullies and greeted them saying hi.
Then I proceeded to say,
“I’ve noticed you’ve been talking about me. I don’t have a problem with anyone. If you have a problem with me, then tell me you do.”
They denied talking about me and looked shocked I stood up for myself. The bullies stopped bullying me after that incident and I felt empowered. That was when I went from being a victim to being a survivor. Being a survivor means taking action. I took action by doing something about the situation I was in.
As a survivor, I was taking control of my life. I also gained confidence, knowing I had the ability to stand up for myself and viewed myself as a valued human who deserves respect.”
Give Amala Hopeline a Call on our free line! You are not alone!